Whoooaaaa.

Today's improvement after 2weeks of daily yoga. I set up an internal clock for myself to wake up. Set my alarm at 630am but i woke up at 620am. Also i can sleep earlier nowadays im off by 11am. Argh just love this little by little changes i've made in life. 

Happiness is all around me. Got some of my favourite teas, my mooncake, my date nectar, and also my pistachio. Life is great. Alhamdullillah. Thanks Allah for blessing me w all the goodness in life. 

Its all about finding the innerself through the self. Hah. Complicated. I dont get that phrase before this, but now, i totally get it. 

May we be cherish w love, peace and calmness always. 

On the other note, cooking up some pumpkin risotto today. So excited to cut that cute little pumpkin. Great day ahead peeps. 

From crossfit to yoga.

Feeling a inspired to write today. So im gonna rant about my thoughts on changing my fitness addiction from crossfit to yoga and mainly my take on this whole journey of being a so called self taught yogi.

Previously, i have been crazy over kettlebell, box jump, and HIIT training. Till the day that i found out i have tendonitis which affected my left wrist. Its been frustrating for me as i cant workout or carry my kettlebell. No overhead press are allowed as i will aggravate the injure tendon more. I had my one week rest and it still didnt get any better. Everytime i carry my 12kg KB on my left, i feel this burning sensation on my wrist and my hand will start to vibrate. I got really sad, spoke to the hubster abt it and he told me rest. Again! And being the fitness freak, i cant stop. I feel empty when i dont sweat. Its like im missing something. Haha. Then... I started to go back to yoga. Yes, i incorporate yoga too in my fitness routine but it wasnt really focusing on it. It was mainly to switch up my routine. 

To cut short, i began practicing yoga again and i fell in love with it. Like head over heels. Haha like seriously what other exersice allows u to have your head touching ur bum? Haha seriously those twisting and bending, its amazing. U'll be amaze of what ur body can do actually. Yoga is all about calmness, balancing, flexibility and coolness. Like doing something without stressing it. As for me, i am blessed w flexibility. not that much. but im quite flexible. so it was a smooth start. And one thing i know is that yoga needs lots of core muscles. U need to have strong core to balance, to lift ur hips up in certain poses. Then, i started to read up about all the goodness of yoga, the anatomy, the breathing, the types of yoga to the yogic diet. Yeah u name it, google was my best friend for the past few months.

I started being vegan last week. Not for life. But for 7 days. Just to have that feel since most yogi are vegan. Why? Cos it has something to do with the ayuverdic. Google it up. Im lazy to type haha. So but actually yoga is about balancing and being healthy. Eat more greens not processed food. As yoga is all about cleansing and purification of the inner self. So yeah, today is my 5th day, and i actually feel just fine without meat. And it was easy for me as i have been practicing clean eating, no big difference. Just no more eggs and tuna. I actually feel more energetic and i sleep better at night, i used to have insomnia. But now im happy that i can sleep :) hah theres a plus point there. 

What other plus point? I move a step further in my poses. Yay! Manage to do the crow, side crow, and half of the headstand. Thats like an accomplishment in life u know. So happy of how much my core has strengthen and my arms got stronger. Its just beyond amazing. 

After thinking in depth. I wouldnt be a vegan or vegatarian or lacto-ovo vegetarian or pescetarian in specific. I will just live healthy and go green and be healthy in my choice of food. Over this week, i've realized that after eating greens i've lost the temptation of eating unhealthy food. I dont crave them anymore. So im just going by the rules of eating healthy nutrituous food that will bring energy and balance. Like the french said, pay attention to what i eat. I dont need to be vegan in order to be a yogi. But my diet will consist mostly greens and other healthy food to give me energy. Im instilling consciousness in whatever i do. To find peace in oneself, one has got to let go. I will ensure that this journey will be for the benefit of all. Happier life and less stress 😊

Have a great week ahead. I hope it will be a good and blessed one. Here's my happy post yoga face with the little yogi.

endorphins? yay or nay?

today was supposed to be my rest day. my whole body is so sore. yesterday was leg day. day before was arms and back. and i didnt sleep well cos adrian woke up a few times last night.

but i'm feeling rather sad today. emotionally sad. contemplating whether i should take a day off or not 😢

endorphins always makes me happy. its the best anti-depressant anyways. maybe i should do some yoga to calm myself. i cant run, my legs are so sore from yesterday workout. which the only option is yoga. power yoga it is! 

hah don't under estimate yoga. its one crazy exercise! you'll be sweating buckets! and feel much better right after! 

p.s: i got a new reebok running shoes! totally in love with it. courtesy of the husband and my dad ✌loving the striking colours of the shoes! 

healthy vs skinny

i always wanted to be skinny for my whole life. i envy people that can rock a skinny jeans and cropped top. but this weight loss journey has taught me so much about getting in shape.

i saw a girl the other day, so skinny and yes she looks good in skinny jeans. and i told my husband omg she's so skinny. and my husbands answer just gave me the answer i've been looking for. he said yeah she's skinny but not healthy.

yeah i just love my husband. which is true u need fat. fat is good. theres a difference between you are fat and you have fat.

now that i've achieved my goal weight i no longer have to battle w that being being depressed cos i know everyone can rock any dress. the trick is live healthy. exercise is the key point.

for the past year i have been exercising everyday and even days that im supposed to rest i'll feel guilty for not sweating. yeah im an addict.

so my point is eat healthy, live healthy and u'll be fine! clean eating is difficult but once u tried u know its all worth it. swap ur ingredients to a healthy choice. white rice to brown rice, white bread to wholegrains. everything white is badddd. hahahha bad for your health. swap ur full cream milk to soy milk. drink as much green tea as u can. its filled w antioxidant and it increases ur body metabolism. pop some iron into ur exercise routine. they burn more calories at rest. skip that yogurt please, try greek yogurt. they do your body good.

ohh yeah, cut your sugar intake. thats the most important. i've always skipped sugar nowadays. even my funny mountain soya is without sugar. its delicious right? that soya. try ordering the ones without sugar and u'll realized that for all these year you are actually drinking the sugar. because the no sugar soya taste like hell. hahha and my husband just found out and he was upset.

i tried putting my husband into my healthy fitness regime. but i must say his willpower has decreases along the year. guess he's tired after working and he just want to indulge. but i did make sure that he doesnt go overboard. hence he still manage to maintain his weight with a little weight loss. he does sprinting now. which is damn good! do u know sprinting is way better than running? hahah u dont right? 20 minutes of sprinting in a week is enough to burn more calories that running for for the whole week. i read that somewhere. must be from one of the men's fitness mags.

so my journey continue to a healthier, fitter and toned me! hope everyone out there are willing to give it a try! and good luck ;)

you.

i kept thinking about the way how things spark up between me and my husband. those were the happiest moment in my life. loving him made me alive each day.

i used to be a crappy person. moody by the day and night but when i met him. everything seems so flowery and i felt like i was in cloud nine. thats the feeling u get when u are in love i guess.

the thing i love most about him is how our brain have the same wavelength. we practically always say the same thing, same word at the same time. they say its jinx but that what i love about us. our brain just clicked. and till today we still do that, let it be in real life or types out.

thats why we are bestfriends to start off. and by all means im glad that it got deeper between us cos i cant see any other person to be my better half.

and i will always remember your efforts and dedication u put in during our courting period. and baby, thats the happiest period ever. because you gave me hope and u made it a reality.

i have lots of stories to tell adrian about his awesome dad when he's older. about how fantastic u are as a man and i pray that he will turn out just like his dad.

u are my bestfriend, my colleague, my partner, my lover, my boyfriend, my fiance, my husband and now u are the father of my child. and u have been an amazing dad to adrian and a fantastic husband to me.

thank you, my love, my heart. i hope our love blossom everyday and that u wouldn't get bored looking at me as i aged and we will grow old together and laugh at our gray hair.

i love you, my arief! forever and always. my heart belongs to u and only u! our love is eternal!

xx

Your Mimi.

whats on my mind?

february is gonna end soon. how time flies. sigh.

so, i tried new exercise this week.pilates. and oh my god, it really works on my core. love it. ahh and i so need to practice more on my ball stability. i suck :( hubs has better core muscles than me. its depressing.

been slacking on my diet though. feels like killing myself for having those cravings. fuck the hormone pills.

adrian on the other hand has done so many milestones and hell yeah im so effin proud of him. but i gotta need more patience in dealing with his distress tantrums. which i reckon im getting better at it. yeah im hormonal and short tempered.

and he is still co-sleeping w me. pushed me around every night. but mommy still loves u to bits, adrian. i'll move u to ur toddler bed when u're ready, ya?

talking about him, the boy just woke up for his midnight feeding. gosh yes, up untill today we still havent got a full night slumber. there's maybe 1/10 nights that he slept through the night. pity my husband though, cos it his task to make the milk at night. argh thats why he's my man :) im just so blessed to have sucha helpful husband.

ok mommy's sleepy. till we meet again bloggie. xx

note

bloody hell for the love of god. dear eyes, will you please just shut and go to sleep.

guess im having that guilt of not working out today. yeah im that weird. i get obsessive when im into something. will u please just kill me now for my exaggeration!

anyhow, this post is for me to note that MY BOY TOOK HIS BABY STEP TODAY (110113) at about 10pm. yeah im forgetful like that, should have jot it down in the previous post.

my brain just fail me after delivery. making me depressed every time i cant find my stuffs. its just plain annoying i tell u.

ok i should really throw my iphone aside. its taking a toll on me. or maybe i should rant more? yay? nay?

ok. NAY! im going to bed. son gonna wake up soon and im gonna be so cranky tomorrow, adrian's not gonna like it!

sometimes i just love talking to myself here hahaha cos nobody reads my blog muahahahah

GOOD NIGHT IPOH! xx

Parenting 101

today's topic is about parenting. how do u educate your child? what do you want ur child to grow up as?

Of course, everyone would say, 'I nak anak yang soleh, yang baik, dengar cakap, tak melawan, hormat orang. Sejuk perut mak mengandung!'

kan? am i right? i thought so. that's every parents dream kot.

Before i got married, I'm always surrounded by my nephews and nieces. and i see that what they become is what their parent is.

For instance, now, that i have a child of my own. I realized that Adrian is actually imitating the both of us( me and hubs). which means if you want your child to be like what u mentioned above, then you first gotta be that kind of person. Because to them kids, you are the only role model.

Nak bentuk rebung, biar dari rebung nya. sebab bila dah tua, dah liat and nak bendung pun dah tak boleh. dah keras uols.

So, my point here is that, sayang anak memang sayang. tapi jangan manja kan anak terlebih sebab bila anak dah terbiasa kita yang susah. sebab bila dah tua, dah tak larat, jangan nak complaint kat orang anak u takde initiative. sebab dari awal lagi, u yang bagi muka.

Next, i'm brought up in a family where they thought me that, 'if you're wrong, you're wrong' and you will get your punishment for that. sebab if you tak punish anak you, they wont learn and they think, its okay, my mom say its ok, she wont do anything. Punish bukan la i suruh dera ok but just to bagi pengajaran.

and i think my mother dah bagi i banyak pengajaran in life, though i agree she was a bit strict but because of her, i am what i am today. I'm able to have a family at 24 years old and my knowledge in household is much more than a mother yang ada anak 4. Can u imagine what my mother has taught me when she's alive? banyak ok! tapi i still rasa ada yang she lupa. For example, how to deal w your in laws and etc.hahaha

so lastly, ajar anak elok2 jangan bagi anak jadi kurang ajar. ajar anak cara untuk accept critic and also ajar anak untuk hormat org and jangan menyusahkan orang lain.

insyaallah i will guide Adrian so that he will not become one of those people.

Mak sayang Adrian ok :)

thats all for parenting class, kalau ada lagi nanti i tulis lagi. selamat malam!

Pregnancy and Checkups

During my pregnancy, I watched all kinds of movies related to giving birth, labor pains, and babies. I've always known that labor pains hurts like hell. I've seen both my sisters go through it, but yeah their stories is not the same. As what they say, everybody will not experience the same kind of pain. It differs. So, here i thought by watching those movies, it'll help me go through it well.

Not just that, hubs even bought me books for pregnancy before and after. It teaches me on how i should sit during my contraction, what kind of painkillers should i asked for, and how to detect whether it was a fake labor or not. Since it was my first pregnancy, hubs was really caring and attentive towards me. He was with me through out my pregnancy period, never did he leave me alone. In fact, i was blessed that he followed to everyone checkups i have with the Ob-gyn.

Talking about Ob-gyn, here comes the doctors and hospitals story. You guys might think I'm crazy but yes, I went to 4 different doctors for Adrian. Paranoia much? hahaha yes Adrian, thats how much mummy was scared that you are not doing well inside. I went to 4 different hospital with 4 different doctors and all of them are famous doctors that me and hubs had to queue for hours. Me being a typical mom, i wanted the best for my baby, so i don't mind paying extra and those long queue.

The FOUR hospitals are;

1) SJMC - Dato' Dr Siti

 She's really famous. I mean like REALLY famous and good too. If you want your baby to be delivered by her, make sure you are willing to come as early as 7 am to queue. Clinics opens at 7.30am for you to take your number. Then you have to come again at 8.30 am to register and her clinic opens at 9 am and sometimes she comes in at 9.30 am. If you are lucky you'll be her first 10 patients, that wouldn't be that long of a wait though. If you are not lucky, you'll get number like 32 or so, please get ready to wait from 7 am till 3pm. Yes, that's how crazy her queue is.

But, she quite a good doctor, very positive and she doesn't scare you for unnecessary stuff. Some doctors are able to talk you through c-section just cause they wanna make money. So, careful!

2) DEMC - Dr Maziah

I was browsing the net, comparing the price to give birth, of cos i'll opt for the good place, good doctor and good price. I found out that, DEMC is only charging RM 2,200.00 for normal delivery and it includes charges for babies as well. I was overwhelmed with the price, that i straight away made an appointment with them. I wanted to see Dr Norleen but was fully booked. I had no other choice but to choose the 2nd best doctor over there, Dr Maziah, she's an expert in problematic pregnancies, so I thought its a good things since I've had early contraction before this, when i was in my 6th month.

The nurse called us in her room, she scanned me and her equipments are way better than Dato Siti. All very hi-tech. After the scan, she asked what kind of delivery i wanted, normal or c-section. I told her that I want a normal birth, she nodded. Then, she proceeded saying that she have to induce me the next week, and my baby was having not enough oxygen and my placenta is maturing too fast.

Hubby and me was really shocked because all this while we have been checking up with Dato Siti and she never mention all this. Then i asked her, is it possible for you to induce me at this stage, and she said it would be risky if want to have normal delivery, but we'll try, if you cant then we'll have to proceed with c- section. This means that I will end up paying for normal delivery charges and all c-section charges. I almost said yes to her because I was really scared that Adrian is not safe inside. Before i could answer to her, she told me that she'll send me for CTG test, to check, and she'll SEE us again after the CTG.

I went it to the CTG room, they plugged in all the necessary on my tummy and i have to wait for 15 minutes or so. Bear in mind, i have been doing CTGs like forever since my pregnancy was prone to a pre-mature birth, so they need to monitor me.Every visits in SJMC i have to do CTGs.

After waiting for 5 minutes, I noticed that i can't hear Adrian's heartbeats, this means its not located properly on my stomach, called hubby to inform them. The nurse came and she just change my position and she said,' ok wait 5 more minutes'. That means the CTG was only done for 5 minutes, what can you prove with a CTG of 5 minutes?

When i was done with the CTG, she brought that results to the Dr and here we thought that we have to go and see her again, as she will explain to us, because that what Dato Siti did. Suddenly, the nurse came back saying, ' Doctor suruh balik, semua ok'. I was like what the fuck?! you told me that i need to get induce tomorrow and now you say that i can go home, everything's fine. Hubby was really pissed with that.

Oh yes, and its not cheap, we had to pay RM 320.00 before leaving. Damn it!

3) Ipoh Specialist Centre - Dr Adlan/ Dr Nagara

That week I was back in Ipoh. Everything was just normal, my next checkup was in 2 weeks times with Dato Siti. I thought everything was fine. Slept off quite early as i was really tired. Suddenly that night at about 5.30 am i had this serious cramping pain at my lower abdomen and i thought it was stomachache. Called hubby up and he was sleepy and groggy, told him to give me hot water bag so that i can put on my stomach, he went back to sleep, and here i am fighting with the pain.

At 7 am called my sister and told her about it, she said that its contraction, so she told us to get to the hospital, as soon as possible. We are in Ipoh and who else do we go to if its not Dr Adlan or Dr Nagara. At about 9 am, we registered and opt for Dr Adlan.

Told him about what i experienced and he did the cervix checks. He says cervix are close, the he opens a medication book infront of me, to prescribed a medication for me. At that point I was like, what the hell? He used to be one of the good doctors in Ipoh. He diagnosed me with colic, jab me with painkillers for abdomen pain and sent me off for CTG. this was funny because, of cos you wont she any contraction, i was already jab with the painkillers. And yeah then, Adlan said that he has an operation, so once i'm done with CTG please bring it to Nagara for review.

Met Nagara, the doctor who delivered me :) He was all nice and said the CTG was fine and told me to have a proper check up with my gynae in KL.

Off we went to KL that day, to see Dato Siti, and yes i really had contraction and its not COLIC!

4) Damansara Specialist Centre - Dr Susanna Huam

You've read regarding my experience in DEMC, right after the doctor shoo us away, we then went to Damansara Specialist, this is because i wanted second opinion and yes, i was worried at that time. SJMC will take forever to meet Dato Siti since it was already 2 pm at that time and her queue is really ridiculous.

I already have MRN no here since I came for checkups here before my pregnancy. Susanna did a check on me, scan and all, she then explained that, my placenta is fine. It is supposed to mature when I'm in my third trimester, but it is not as bad as doing a c-section. She told me to relax and come again in 2 weeks time to see how it goes and to check my amniotic fluid. Yeap, I've had contractions, and my amniotic fluid dries up fast. Pity mummy's boy inside!

Thats how we choose our Hospital, Damansara Specialist Hospital, the baby friendly hospital!
 

At last...

yes! finally!


The wedding album was delivered to us on Monday. Apparently he has lots of other job, which i think is bollocks.

Anyways, today will be my second last day at work. which means i am officially unemployed starting on Monday. hehe anyone wants to employ me let me know. haha.

I AM SO HAPPY I CAN DIEEEE!!!

I shall have all the time in the world to start decorating the house, the room. :)

You gotta wake up, darling

So, Hi, I'm back :) Sorry for the looooong hiatus. i wasn't in the mood of writing nor expressing myself. i was having a good time curling in the comfort of my own duvet.

let me just summarized it by listing down on the things that happened during my hiatus.

1. got into a major fight with Arief
2. REALLY MAJOR fight
3. got MARRIED
4. RESIGN from my current work
5. had a fight with almost everybody in the family ( dont ask im on this roadtrip to earth alone actually since born ;)
6. deferred my studies.
7. RUNAWAY

LOL seriously i was just joking at point no. 7. Practically i just stop my life, i just wanted to unwind and relax, i cant take this hustle and bustle of KL city life anymore. Sick of it, tired of it. People wont understand. Nobody will.

i lied. there's more to that list, but i'll skip :)

Sometimes i think i dont have all the guts to do all of the above, because i was so scared of what people would say and think. but seriously now, to hell with it.


P/S: yeah I'm a married woman now :) Call me Mrs. Mimi.

Save Mother Earth

I was shocked to hear about Myanmar earthquakes yesterday night. It has destruct Myanmar with 7.0 on the richter scale. Having Thailand and Laos to get affected.

Japan haven't even recover yet and now another massive earthquake. What is happening to the world? Is it coming to an end?

We are all helpless when the mother nature roared with the Tsunami. Is it a signthat we should repent?

I reckon we should do something in showing our effort in helping the mother earth. Its EARTH DAY tomorrow.26th March 2011 @ 8.30 pm. We shall all unite and keep the lights off for one hour in order help the mother nature who has been very angry lately.




Show you support by putting this banner in your blog or website. Get it here.


Tell your friends via social media, blogs or website. The reason why people don't do it is because we forget. So darlings, do your job as a human being on earth. Spread the word!

I shall blog about my Earth Hour day next week :)

Its candle time!

Coffee and Love are best when they are hot

Do you get married to someone because you like the status of being 'married'? or because you think its cool because you eliminate the religion barrier between you both? or maybe you get married because you feel its a trend?

Ask yourself.

if you were to answer any of the above, my advice, forget it and live your life to the fullest before you embark this journey of marriage. Marriage was never easy, never is. The marriage of  the elderly that we benchmark ourselves to, might be a whole drama. No parents will ever tell their kids about the problem they having between them. They protect it so bad like they protected us. Why? because no parents wanna see their kids sob over their failed marriage. Some pretend for years, some when for counselling and some bail on each other and file a divorce. Love is only beautiful when its hot and boiling. You BBM even when he's just next to you, tweet with him even when he's just in the next room, beautiful aint it? Romantic so it seems.

But have you ever imagined when you gotta live with this man who farts around the house,who pick his nose infront of the tv, who never put the toilet seats up for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? Everyday of your life. Its all about him and IF you are lucky, he'll be all about you. By knowing men, do you think its all about you after he has gotten you as his wifey? But if you are LUCKY for the second time, he'll appreciate you, I'm sure.

When the issue of ' I'm too young to get married' came up. I tell myself, well, I have witnessed 4 marriages infront of me. They have their good times and they have their worst. Its how you nuture the roots. If from the beginning you are not putting your 100% effort in it, no marriage can ever survive.

I believe we gotta be mentally strong to embark on this new journey called, " BEING A WIFE". You gotta know who your husband is. You gotta make sure that YOU, yourself is ready. It will all come back to you. THINK WISELY. Don't ever regret it one day and say, ' I WISH I DIDNT MARRY YOU'.

Its your choice, darlings. Pick what you want. Nobody is ever gonna force you to get married. Its your call. You believe that the marriage you are building is pure and the love you are having with him is not some puppy love. Then go ahead with it. BUT if ever you felt uneasy about it. LET IT GO.

You dont wanna be a widow at the age of 23, arent you?

I was once in doubt about my marriage too. I questioned myself more than a million times. Again and again and again. Is this the right choice. Everyone will go throught this part of life. Its normal. When it happened dont freak out and because you will scare the groom-to-be away haha. Take a deep breath and think rationally.

I'm talking by experience, God i freaked out i went berserk. HAHA. You gotta chill, young lady. No conclusion can be made when you are filled with emotions. At this moment, all your maturity will shows. But its not, then you are better being single or in a relationship!

How bout you? I'm sure you have thought about it a million times just like me :)

May God bless our marriage in the future than. Amen!

You, Me and Her.

The hardest thing is when your boyfriend has a female best friend. You seem clingy, but in reality you're just afraid that he'll love her more than he loves you. You seem bitchy, but in reality you're hurt that another girl sometimes seems more important to him than you are. You always seem unreasonable, but in reality you're just trying to hang on to the most important person in your life.

Karma is never nice.

Just caused you are elder than me and I'm so called the youngest, I can be told that I'm being emotional. But when it comes to you being emotional, you dont fucking realize that. How is that fair?

you preach about you are not affected by anyone or anything. you are very logical. I guess you are not. You throw tantrums too. We all have emotions! There's no difference between me or you. You judged me, and i let that be. Because I thought and I assume, you were the only one i can count on after my mother.

I was wrong. You were just the same. You dont bother what happened to me. You dont care. You deceived me in believing you are one. You dissapoint me. For all these time, all of you have been saying that I am a dissapointment, well i guess this time, screw you. You are a MAJOR dissapointment because you told everyone you were so much better than anyone out there.

Hello darling, strangers out there is definitely more sincere than you are. Whatever happened during my engagement is not something i can forget. You guys failed to make me a happy little girl.

I'm not coming back. November 11,2011 will be last event with all of you. You all broke my heart. I still cry till today. For everything that happened, i wish that doesn't happened to your kids. If you are lucky, you'll be alive and witness all of your kids getting engaged and happily married. But if dont have the chance, I pray to God that they will NEVER experience what i did.

Karma is a bitch. Haven't you guys heard of that? I bet you have a taste of it already but you take for granted. But its ok. One day, when its slap itself right on the face, you'll be sorry about it. I know now you dont, because you are too proud of yourself.

November 11, 2011 will mark the date where I shall cut every ties. That I promise you.

Rainy Wednesday

Hello you. Sorry for being on hiatus. I wasnt really THAT busy but i wasnt in the mood write. I swear I was at this page yesterday. Every letter typed out was back spaced again and again and again. Guess i wasn't in the after all.

Its a rainy gloomy wednesday today. * wow that rhymes haha* so i decided to write something mellow. haha. you probably think, when is it that im not mellow in my blog post. WELL, today I'm gonna be extra mellow. hehe.

Nothing was ever perfect in my life. No, seriously. NOTHING. You might see that I'm happy, I smile, my status is all lovey dovey. Well, yes i am happy NOW. because I'M IN LOVE. Haven't you notice that? My status was all about him when I'm happy. Except certain statuses where we're not in good terms. but hey, couple fights ok. thats fucking normal. Anyhow, sometimes i find we are weird. We dont fight nowadays. Is that normal? i hope so :) *pray hard to God*

So, Arief Farhan, just in case you're reading this. * i know you dont read my blog haha*

this is for you.

Every night when our fingers intertwine before we sleep, I felt security. There was a sense of belonging in between. The warmth of your body tuck me in a deep sleep everyday. There is not a day that i fall asleep not praying for you to live longer than me. This is selfish. but if I were to live longer than you, I don't think I'll survive this nasty life. Apart from God, you are my motivation. 

People around us can say whatever they want but I believe I know you more than them. They can assume that they know everything. and I'm on a challenge to change that :)

i know you can do better. you just gotta believe in yourself.

and I, dedicate this song to you, my love. Because i know you are worth it ;)

The Ghost of the Ex.

My ex? NOPE! Im done with all my exes. They are definitely HISTORY now. and im glad they are history because i love my present :)

so yesterday i tweeted, "Dear Allah, tonight I don't want to dream abt the past. Let me dream of the present and future. Thank you. Faithfully, Mimi."

the ghost of your ex is haunting me baby. god knows for what reason. maybe i felt insecure. maybe because all the things she said. and i dont like the past. you have thought me to let go, and so i did. but subconsciously, i didnt let go.


please please Allah. Im on my bended knees, please let me let this go or ill never feel happpiness again.


Love,
Mimi

I have died and gone to Heaven :)

relationship and friendship. both is vital to life. u need either one to survive this horrible life.

i wanna thank my baby for all the things he have done. Thank you for just being there and sometimes you u dont even say a word when im sad, because u understand. you know what i want. you witness every tears, every laugh, every smile that i let out. and im happy that i can share all that with a person as incredible as you. you were there, eventhough when i have my ridiculous mood swings. you stayed and you didnt bail on me. among everybody i have met. you stayed the longest in terms of patience. THANK YOU, BABY ARIEF :)

so, i have a beautiful relationship. what more can i ask for? friendship of course. well i have friends, but my friends are not the one that would take a bullet for me. its more like, hey we're friends WITH benefit. to me, why be friends, when you wanna be jealous of me, you were never happy of what i have. thats not friend. i rather not have you at all. seriously. im looking for a sincere friendship, if there is ever a sec that you feel like you hate me, go away. dont be my friend. i dont wanna get hurt anymore.

but for now, im content with the amount of friends i have. i dont have a whole bus. but i have a few 'take a bullet for you' friend :)

I'm happy with my life. I have Arief, i have my girlfriends. Im complete :)

God is always there :)

Not many people know how stressed i was for the past week. Doing all the preparation for my E-day. From getting the food, to the setting up, to the dresses, to the doorgifts, to the hantarans. Life can be really challenging when you gotta deal with it all alone. And when family back out on you at the very last minute.

sometimes we all wanna cry and scream and yell at the same time. Well, i did that. Still, my worries are still there. Will it work out. Will it be just like how i wanted it to be? And Right to the very end, i dont fucking have a photographer. -_-

Like seriously, i DONT have a photographer for my engagement. And everybody has been saying, its once in the lifetime event, you gotta have it the way u want it. and nobody is there to take my pictures of the happy day. So, i sat down and think. Nobody is gonna pity me. i got to pity myself. So i should do all it takes to make my E-day a memorable one. Yes, i'm mad with their selfish-ness but who am i to ask them to help? Im only a sister. who bothers? Mak will bother but she's not here. I gotta bother my own shit then. Sad? yeah, but whatever. i'll get it done :)

so, me being all tech savvy. i googled for my last minute photographer that was like 3 days away from my E-day. Guess what i typed? LOL you wont believed me. i typed ' photographer murah RM 500 bertunang'.

I wasnt being a cheap stake but i do have some financial issues and the family are a bit meticulous. Its all up to me then to fork out the money. Well, they are paying for the food and pelamin and all. but other petty little stuff are left to me to go figure. Anyways, back to my googling, as i hit the Enter button, BOOM! i found it. you know what i got? I got this for RM 600! believe it or not? heee :)

RM600
- 1 DAY EVENT
- 1 UNIT STORY ALBUM (SEMPENA PROMOSI)
- COVER SAMPAI HABIS MAJLIS
- DVD SOFTCOPY
- UNLIMITED PHOTOSHOOT
- 2 JURUGAMBAR + 1 EXTRA PHOTOGRAPHER ( she said she'll add one more for me! yeay! lucky me!)
- OUTDOOR KAWASAN SEKITAR SELEPAS MAJLIS
(SEMPENA PROMOSI)

i know. i know this is a super good deal right? Hell yeah, it is. They take really good pictures and the lady, Kak Leeza is soo friendly. Felt comfortable the moment i met her. Go check it out Grasshopper Photography.

Whats pending now?

1. My heels

2. Baby's baju melayu

3. Door gifts 

Thats all i guess for now. 

Seriously, I went and see Kak Leeza and when i saw her artwork. I was thankful to God, he saved my ass this time. It was beautiful and up to my budget. and her art work is up to my taste. LOVE LOVE her! 

Thank you God. Thank you for being there where everyone else bail on me. Alhamdullilah :)

God is always there for everyone.Miracle do happened.